


Showtime, Baby

by ChocolateCoconut



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Related, Even Number Boys!, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Light Angst, POV Ben Hargreeves, POV Diego Hargreeves, POV Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateCoconut/pseuds/ChocolateCoconut
Summary: Diego arrives in Dallas in May 1960 and attends a show featuring a shocking levitation act.AKADiego and Klaus (and Ben!) meet up much earlier in season 2.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 161





	Showtime, Baby

**Diego**

Diego never accepted gifts for his volunteer work.

Sure, he was a vigilante justice-defending superhero... but he could at least act humble about it. 

Over the years, people whose lives, property, or wallets he saved often offered him exorbitant items as thanks — jewelry, TV sets, even a college scholarship or two. Diego always turned them down, aiming to sever the hero-victim relationship as soon as the saving was done.

But precisely four minutes and 37 seconds after time traveling to May 28 of 1960, he made an exception to that policy. 

He made it for his livelihood. 

After saving Majorie — a stranger around his age — from an attempted mugging, he quickly said yes to her insistence that she join him for dinner and a “marvelous show.”

He wasn’t too keen on the show bit but he needed to eat and was pretty certain that handing over a credit card made in 2019 wouldn’t fly well with any 1960 establishments. Plus, Majorie, well, even in that boxy dress, her body looked like it could satisfy another sort of appetite of his as well. 

The dinner was fine. Good pasta, decent garlic bread, and a dining mate who was so wrapped up in talking about herself that she didn’t seem to notice that Diego uttered a grand total of five non-complete sentences over their hour together. 

Then came the show. Diego thought maybe they were going to a drive-in movie (that was a thing in the 60s, right?) or a local musical. Both seemed about as tempting to Diego as a root canal, but if humoring Majorie meant that he would get to spend the night in her room — in the same bed with her or not — he figured it would be worth it. Homelessness via time travel was not his style. 

But no. They don’t pull up to any sort of theater. Instead, Majorie took them to a mansion in the suburbs, and when he asked what the hell kind of “show” was taking place out of someone’s home, she just winked and said “patience, doll.”

They entered into a grand foyer that was already crowded with people — people who all had something in common: They were much, much older than Diego and Majorie.

“This an old folks’ home?” he asked. 

She giggled. “No, just happens to be the typical crowd. My grandparents gifted me their tickets tonight. They’re out of town.”

“And what exactly is the _this_ we’re seeing?”

“Shhh, no fun in ruining the surprise.” 

Diego suppressed a groan (usually, someone who wanted to surprise him would be thanked with a knife to their throat) but he gladly accepted a glass of champagne offered by a passing waitress. 

As he took his first sip, a woman stepped up to the front of the crowd.

“Welcome, welcome! As most of you know, my name is Kitty. But you’re not here to see little ole me, are you?”

A few chuckles followed.

“No, no, you’re here to bear witness to my fabulous discovery: A man for whom the word ‘talented’ is a vast understatement. A man so gifted, so exquisite, so extraordinary, that, well, you really just have to meet him to believe it. My darling guests, please welcome the one, the only, The Amazing—“

Kitty extended her right arm with a presentational flourish and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause, drowning out her next word. 

With so many people in front of Diego, he couldn’t see who (or what?) they were cheering for. 

So he inched forward a tad and was met with the sight of two skinny toothpicks — ahem, legs, they must be legs — encased in impossibly tight leather pants. He looked onward to the man’s matching black top, moved onto his face... _and holy shit shit (shiiiit!) how was this possible?!?_

“Klaus?!”

* * *

**Klaus**

Klaus was riding high. No, not literally; he’d been clean since arriving in the 60s, thank you very much. He was riding the emotional high of being admired and receiving wonderful financial compensation for it. 

Tonight was set to be especially big. He and Ben had been practicing a new trick for nearly a month and they were finally ready to debut it for their generous patrons. 

So, after Kitty introduced him and the applause died down, Klaus took a dramatic step into the center of the foyer, lifted his hands gracefully to his sides, and let himself be lifted up by a patient-for-once-in-his-death Ben. 

Perfect. Just as they practiced. 

The effect was immediate; gasps, shrieks, “no way”s, “oh my gosh”s, and claps reverberated across the room.

But loudest of all was a single word. It was spoken with a mix of firm conviction and tired annoyance:

“Bullshit.” 

Oh, and the voice was awfully familiar. 

Right after it was uttered, six things occurred in rapid succession:

  * Ben gasped. 
  * Ben yelped out “Diego!” 
  * Klaus replied “Diego??”
  * Ben dropped his arms.
  * Klaus came crashing down, his face slapping marble.
  * Klaus saw only darkness.



“Diego,” Ben muttered again, ignoring his other brother and his poor poor injured face. Rude.

Klaus could sense several people rushing toward him. They patted his back, rubbed his arms, asked if he was ok, and offered to call an ambulance. 

“M’fine,” he managed to mumble, open his eyes, and sit up, only to — sure enough — spot a familiar face through the crowd. Said face didn't blink.

“Diego?” 

That word earned many confused looks.

“What’s that now, dear?” Kitty asked.

“Sorry, Diego’s...uh, one of my spiritual guides.” He stood up, dizziness be damned. “‘Xcuse me for a moment, will you? Gotta, er, reconnect with my divine celestial center.”

He parted the crowd and ran to the nearest bathroom, checking only to see if Diego and Ben were following. They were. 

* * *

**Ben**

“What the hell, Klaus??!” Diego was already saying as Ben phased behind him into the bathroom half a second later.

“Why hello to you, too, my darling long-lost brother! How glorious a reunion it tis!”

Klaus lurched forward for a hug, which Diego didn’t refuse exactly but didn’t quite accept either. His body remained rigid.

“Yeah, yeah, this is real peachy, Klaus. I don’t know how but you’re scamming these people!”

“Scamming, moi?” Klaus pulled back. “Are your knife skills also a scam then?”

“No, those are my powers.”

“Oh well lucky me, levitation is a power of mine.”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’? You don’t know everything about me.”

“I would have known about this. Dad would have found out about it. You or him, probably both, would have exploited it years ago.”

“Ah what glorious faith you have in me, Numbah Two! I’m touched.”

“Seriously, man? How’d you do it?”

“Mmm, like I said: I contain multitudes.”

“Tell him,” Ben spoke up. He had waited for a moment like this since the Icarus Theater. Since his siblings were finally forced to learn the truth about Ben thanks to undeniable evidence. 

Every single day in Dallas, Ben had hoped against reasonable hope that a non-Klaus sibling would turn up for him to talk to. 

Well, ok, this bathroom reunion scenario wasn’t precisely what he had had in mind. But still; he was bursting with anxious glee. 

“Please, Klaus. Tell him. It’ll explain what’s going on. And he can’t fault us. You did what we had to do to make money and survive.” 

Klaus continued to stare Diego down. “Fine,” he said, not glancing at Ben.

“Fine?” asked Diego. “What do you mean ‘fine’? You can’t mean this time travel nonsense is fine because Five clearly fucked up and—“

“Fine, I’ll tell you! Congratulations, Diego, you’re getting a magician to reveal his secrets.”

“Goodie.”

“And the secret is....” Klaus mimicked a drum roll on his stomach “...I have a trusty assistant. He’s a bit of a jerk-off but we make it work.”

“He?”

“Di, what is the one power you _do_ know I have?”

“You can bug me to tears.”

“Buzzzzzz. Try again.”

“You can commune with the dead.”

“Bingo! And how, Diego dear, do you imagine that it might help me make it appear as though I‘m floating in mid-air?”

Diego looked confused for nearly a whole minute. Klaus even began to hum the _Jeopardy_ theme song.

“Do do do do do do—“

“You conned a ghost friend into lifting you up?!” Diego finally said. “That’s ridiculous, man.”

“Yes!” Ben said, impatience running high. “But not just any ghost. Tell him, Klaus!”

“Will you shut up?” Klaus gritted out of the corner of his mouth. “I’m getting there.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” Diego protested. “You shu—“

He did indeed shut up... as Klaus lifted up his hands, which were glowing blue.

“Diego Hargreeves, might I present... my lovely assistant.”

Diego’s eyes bulged. 

Ben looked down at his own body. He couldn’t spot any changes. But Diego clearly could. He covered his mouth and stumbled back, catching himself on the shower curtain. “B-Ben?!”

“Hey, Diego.” He patted down his jacket and ran a finger through his hair. 

“Holy...”

“Shit. Yeah,” Klaus supplied.

Diego stared at Ben.

Ben stared at Diego.

A faucet dripped. 

“You two just gonna keep eye-fucking or will you hug already?” Klaus asked. 

Ben lifted his hands up slowly. Yes, he desperately wanted Diego to hug him — to be acknowledged as real. To connect with a brother he disappeared from long ago.

But, he didn’t want to push Diego either. Ben knew that hugging a ghost, even a corporeal one, might freak anyone out — even a Hargreeves who has seen plenty of wild shit.

He needn’t have worried though. Before Ben could overthink things any further, Diego threw himself forward, wrapping his entire body around Ben like the world’s best weighted blanket. 

“Ben,” he choked out.

Ben patted his back and looked to Klaus. “Thank you.”

“I can’t believe you’re really here.”

Ben found himself at a loss for words, but fortunately, Klaus didn’t. “Believe it bay-bah!” He said. “Yours truly has mastered the art of turning Ben into a real live boy. You’re welcome, one and all. Gifts shall be accepted at your earliest convenience later.”

“Shut up, Klaus,” Diego and Ben said simultaneously, albeit playfully. They then pulled back just slightly from one another and chuckled.

“This... this is amazing,” Diego said.

“It really is. I’ve missed talking with you so much.”

“How long have you’ve been hanging around Mr. Muppet over here?”

“14 years.”

“Fourtee— that’s... since you died? You’ve been around this whole time?!”

Ben nodded.

“And you never said anything?”

“Uh, well, it’s kinda hard to speak up for yourself when you don’t have a body.”

“Right, but,” Diego turned to Klaus. “You never...”

“What?!" Klaus said, displaying something Ben rarely saw in him: genuine anger. "I never _what_ , huh? I _did_ tell you. I told you that I was seeing Ben. A lot. That he was here. You never believed me. That’s all on you, not me.”

Diego didn’t reply, though he did seem to develop a sudden interest in the tile floor pattern.

Ben knew he probably should say something, interrupt the tension. But he didn't. Look, it's not like he enjoyed seeing Diego look so guilty and regretful but, well, Ben had felt frustrated by him a lot over the years. He’d been annoyed at all of his siblings at their lack of belief in Klaus — at their disbelief in the notion of Ben, even if he couldn’t truly blame them. Being present but denied stung. A part of him would always be disappointed in Diego, he supposed. 

The faucet continued to drip. 

Then, there was a knock on the door — four of them actually.

“Klaus, dear?” Kitty called out. “Everything ok? Can I get you some water? A bandage?”

“It’s all dandy, Kitty,” Klaus called out. “Just uh... dropping off a massive poo.”

Ben glared at him. “Really?”

Klaus shrugged. “She won’t try to barge in then.”

Diego nodded. “Smart.”

“Ok,” Kitty called. “But if you could hurry it along, that’d be great. Paying customers are waiting.”

“Just another minute.”

“Fabulous!”

They heard footsteps retreating away.

“Well, this three-way heart-to-heart-to-heart, has been lovely,” Klaus said. “But—“

His hands glowed once more. 

“Hey! Klaus!” Diego waved at Ben... or rather, he waved broadly a few inches around Ben. 

“Sorry, my powers giveth and my powers taketh away. Showtime!”

“But you’ll let me talk to him again, right?” Ben pressed, just as Diego said, “You’ll bring him back later?”

“Sure, sure,” Klaus responded to them both, then moved to open the bathroom door.

“Wait!” Diego blocked him. “When did you get here anyway?”

“Uh, I walked into the bathroom a moment before you?”

“No, I mean Dallas. 1960.”

“106 days ago,” Ben responded without hesitation.

“106 days ago, according to Ben,” Klaus translated. “You?”

“Less than two hours ago.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“Yeah, ‘huh.’ Thanks a lot, Five.”

“Yup-p. Well, I can’t wait to hunt down Tiger Beat with you later. But right now, the show must go on, bitches!” He pulled open the door and stepped out.

* * *

**Diego**

FYI, the sensation of champagne bubbles coming out of your nose is not a pleasant one.

Diego found this out the hard way, as the sight of Klaus “levitating” now made him laugh so hard that his beverage spilled over in his throat.

True, he couldn’t actually see Ben... but simply knowing that his dearly departed brother was under there, holding his other brother up, was absolutely freakin’ hilarious to Diego. It reminded him of the pranks they’d pull as kids — rare but glorious. 

Ben, soft-spoken as he usually was, had a mischievous side that Diego delighted in bringing out of him. Together, the two would prank call their other siblings, telling them they had won the lottery, an “international stinkiest butt” award, or a lifetime supply of pickles. When they were nine, Ben somehow commandeered a whoopee cushion that they placed under Pogo, Grace, and Reginald’s chairs for a week. Klaus joined in on the duo’s antics once, scheming to replace all the sugar in Grace’s homemade cookies with salt. Reginald caught them, ceasing their pranks once and for all.

So, Ben making Klaus “levitate” as dozens of snobby rich white folks looked on in awe? H I L A R I O U S.

Majorie swatted his shoulder. “You find divine gifts funny, do you?”

“Well, yeah.”

She gave him an Angry Stare of Death and mumbled a half-dozen “sorry”s to the other patrons for his inappropriate laughter. But frankly, Diego didn’t care about appeasing her anymore. He didn’t need her to survive. He, Klaus, and Ben (!) could figure this 1960s shit out together. 

**Author's Note:**

> I marked this complete for now because there’s like a 60-70% chance it is indeed complete. Buuut I ~may continue it with more shenanigans showing how Diego arriving earlier would change a lot of things for all the even number boys (including a ghostly interference or two with Lee Harvey Oswald, more "shows," and an eventual earlier reunion with Allison).


End file.
